Japan sees wave of social media screeds attacking 'their lordships with children'

TOKYO -- Growing numbers of people are posting social media attacks against parents of young children, referring to them with the derogatory catchphrase "their lordships with children." The posts take aim at perceived unreasonable behavior and the inconveniencing of others justified simply by virtue of being parents. But what sparked this wave of online vitriol?

"'Their lordship with a kid' took another sudden day off today because they say their child has a high fever. So everyone in the department had to do 1.3 times more work."

This was posted to X (formerly Twitter) in November 2023. The post garnered over 30 million views, sparking both approval and disapproval.

In April 2023, restaurant chain Soup Stock Tokyo announced that it would provide complimentary baby food at all its stores. The social media reaction was swift and cutting, with posts including, "The proposer must be one of those lordships with a kid. I'm not going there (Soup Stock Tokyo) anymore," and, "Many stores only have counter seating and are small to start with. It'll be unbearable if people with strollers storm in. Goodbye, Soup Stock Tokyo ..."

Social media has been flooded with statements like, "Single women are forced to work to fill the gap left by their lordships with kids," and, "Not only can't you recline your seat (on a train) if some lordship with kids sits nearby, they even demand help."

Are women without children also joining the attacks?

"This is essentially a debate about, 'Why should we sacrifice for your child?'" said Yuko Ando, a TV news journalist.

Some of the people getting in on the "their lordships with kids" posts seem to be women without children, and Ando, who doesn't have children, is concerned about a "break" among women. "Due to various reasons such as economic issues, an increasing number of people choose not to marry or have children, deepening the division between the married and unmarried, and between those with children and those without," she said. "Furthermore, in many workplaces, the male-dominance mindset persists. And then, even though they already feel that things are unfair, women without children sometimes have to cover for their colleagues who take time off for child care reasons."

The increase in dual-income households may also accelerate the sense of "unfairness." According to the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare's "Comprehensive Survey of Living Conditions," the percentage of households with unmarried children under 18 where the mother is working was 56.7% in 2004, rising to 75.7% in 2022. The proportion of mothers working as "regular employees" also increased from 16.9% in 2004 to 30.4% in 2022.

Professor Kazuma Sato, specializing in family economics at Takushoku University and the parent of one child, says, "Dual-income households need to 'externalize' the burden of child care by using nurseries and after-school services. However, situations such as when a child suddenly develops a fever unavoidably affect the parents' workplace colleagues. Criticism of 'their lordships with kids' may continue to grow, and there is a risk that without intervention, particularly by the government, people who want to get married and have children may get discouraged."

(Japanese original by Eri Misono, Digital News Group)